Also sometimes I’m not really into the whole “You can never completely unlearn misogyny” style of rhetoric

Because like, while yeah, and thinking you’re done is really fucked up, it often feels very “NONE OF YOU ARE FREE OF SIN”-y and it gets used in really abusive ways.

I mean lately I’ve been thinking about how many mean spirited abusive personalities end up really owning in SJ spaces and like what mechanisms can safe guard against it without silencing people, or like policing people’s emotions, because like anger is often justified, but I’ve also seen some fucked up shit and IDK.

I mean I don’t like how witch hunt-y some spaces I’ve been in have gotten and even though I’m generally pretty good at navigating witch hunt-y SJ spaces (Like I’m weirdly good at that from a lot of practice) I feel like people who enjoy instigating witch hunts, people who often end up in leadership positions are maybe just not good people.

Sisterhood

Using the idea of “sisterhood between all women” to silence oppressed women is so shitty.  Like pitting women against one another is shitty, and all, but you know what? 

It’s not on WOC to extend the olive branch to white women, or trans women to extend it to cis women or so on and so forth.  They are really really not obligated to do that.

When we’re the woman with privilege, we need to be the one to extend the olive branch.  We need to be the one to act sisterly before we can expect sisterly love and support from women who we benefit from systemically oppressing we probably have to act a lot more sisterly ourselves

Some thing fuckboys need to know

awkwarddicklick:

staybeautifullynumb:

Porn isn’t “real”
Girls actually masturbate
Girls can orgasm without a guy
We’re not here to please you
We can be dominant 
Lesbians don’t need dick
Asexual girls aren’t broken
Bisexual girls don’t want/have 3 somes with you to prove their sexuality
We’re not sexual objects
Girls can like sex
Girls can have causal sex
Sex workers aren’t “dirty” or “easy”
Trans women are women
Vaginas stretch back

SO PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP

everything about this makes me so happy

Also porn doesn’t show exclusively submissive women, but the dominant women depicted in porn (has this person actually not seen femdom porn? REALLY?) are kiiiinda unrealistic and focused on the male gaze.

P.S. No I am still not a lifestyle domme

A dude left me a bad review on niteflirt

For not having makeup on during a cam session at 5 AM my time.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?  He also didn’t mention it during the session. Like tell me when you want something, don’t seem to have fun and then leave me a shit review

I hate clients sometimes.

I want a bottle of 24 Faubourg DESPERATELY

i just heard the song “sex metal barbie” for the first time in my life and it made me think of you

Excellent.  

Why Do Americans and Northern Europeans Hate Scent?

I remember hearing the story of a woman who’d grown up in a society that didn’t do deoderant (I don’t remember which one) who’d married an American man and her saying that sharing a bed with him was like sleeping with a ghost because she couldn’t smell him.

I think culturally we’re weird about smell.  I mean Americans, but also a lot of Northern Europe.  People who love perfume say Japan’s not a perfume country and thus not a fragrance country, but Japan is a heavily fragranced country, they just don’t do perfume as much, Japan doesn’t have a tradition of wearing fragrance on skin, instead one scents clothes, and home and other spaces one exists in (the Japanese incense tradition is an especially lovely one) and strongly scented fabric softeners sell extraordinarily well there.  

In any case, we North Americans, and Northern Europeans (especially north western Europeans, Russia and other Eastern European nations have a very strong history of perfumery) are unusual in our distaste for fragrance, not just our distaste for perfume, but our overall suspicion of scent.

We blamed odeurs for the plague, and in modern times stereotype certain ethnicities as prone to wearing far too much scent, we are deeply suspicious of fragrance chemicals and clamour for unscented products.  We seem to believe that the very act of smelling anything is bad for us.  We do everything we can to avoid producing natural human odors (even those that are regarded as pleasant or inoffensive elsewhere) and seem in general to have some yen for an enviornment completely devoid of smell, which is to me as peculiar a longing as a longing for an enviornment completely devoid of sound, 

Perhaps we lost our ability to stomach fragrances around the time the anglosphere lost our ability to handle spicy food (the 19th century, our food was actually quite spicy until then, when a health fad for bland food created the sensitivity to heat that we’re known for as a culture today) perhaps it has something to do with the weather or protestantism, all I know is that we’re weird about smell as a culture.

In any case, I think this distaste for scent overall leads us to vastly underestimate and ignore our senses of smell, we are unaware of the scents of those we love, we ignore the scented landscape.

Remember that time I pissed off GOMI

By humorously pointing out similarities between Dove Real Beauty campaigns (and the idea of “average” woman/”wholesomeness” as ideal of beauty) to Nazi ideals of womanhood?

That was great.  I love how much finding entertaining connections between unrelated ideas upsets people, how the possibility of valuing something purely as “well isn’t that an interesting thought” makes people so terribly indignant.

Why Is a Cruel and Medieval Form of Child Punishment Making a Comeback?

I feel like the forcible cutting of someone’s hair, particularly the hair of women, gender non-conforming men, and femme non-binary people is a particularly symbolically pregnant form of violence.

I mean think of what Romney did in school to a gay class mate, think of the shaving of the heads of French sex workers (often innocent victims of rape or starvation) by people who were often trying to take attention away from their own nazi collaboration, think of the shocking scene of Cersei Lannister, the cutting of the hair of French aristocrats before the guillotine, the hair of viking thralls, the cutting off of Rastafarians’ sacred dreadlocks by racist police forces, the cutting off of the hair of black women and girls in racially charged incidents like these, the cutting of Native American student’s hair in residential schools

There is some particular symbolic importance to hair, in our society long hair is feminine, but also a symbol of a kind of rebellion or freedom.  Hair is sensual and yet in some ways perceived as a statement of aggression.

I don’t know.

Why Is a Cruel and Medieval Form of Child Punishment Making a Comeback?

Weird Thing About Marriage

One partner always ends up eventually being in charge of buying the other ones socks and underwear.  I’m pretty sure there are no exceptions to this rule.

You don’t know how you start, but one day you buy them socks and then they forget how to buy socks and expect new ones to just start appearing as the old ones age.

Like “marriage is just a piece of paper” you think that, but no, it changes things, it causes all sorts of weird inexplicable crap that you don’t understand how or why it does that but it just does.

That said, overall, it ain’t bad.