Also I’m kind of freaked about having my nose ring out, I’ve had it for more than a decade
I hate getting all my piercings taken out and doing the antistaph shower
I’m also interested in that, but I sincerely doubt I’m qualified to practice it, though I do borrow some of its techniques for behavior modification
I hope this new listing becomes incredibly popular.
Seriously, spread it around.
Hello there my little bourgeois piggie, I know what you are, and I know what a greedy little swine like you needs. You see, I already know your type, the only thing that you love more than money is women like me, cruel, beautiful and ready to take you for every last cent you have, ready to use my beauty and charm and your money to destroy you.
I absolutely despise men like you, you’re weak, mewling, pathetic, just begging to be crushed under the boot heel of communist power. You bourgeois are all the same, wealth has made you soft, with all that comfort you’ve let yourself go to seed, it’s made you complacent, an easy mark. You are not a man, you are a flabby useless coddled thing and see, piggie, the revolution is coming, and you will not be able to fend it off and that means pigs like you are going to be up against the wall, on the chopping block, in short liquidated.
So, really the only way to save yourself from this fate is to give in to me now, surrender before it’s too late, accept my dictatorship of the proletariat. Accept your place and turn your property over to the party, accept that in this new society we shall have no gods, no masters, and bourgeois swine like you shall have but one goddess and mistress, me.
Do this, and you will be allowed to lick the boots of your new superiors when the time comes, and grovel like the curr you are for a moment of my attention, and you will count yourself lucky.
What you call yours is rightfully mine, and with my perfect body and exquisite face, I will not only reclaim my property, I will make you thank me for taking it from you. Are you ready to fund your own destruction, piggy? Are you ready to accept the new order?
I’m rewriting it as like a sexy communist dominatrix thing, about how capitalists should accept that the revolution is coming and that they just need to accept being crushed under communism’s sexy boot heel.