Clients Keep Asking Me If I’m English

I’m like “…I’m from Brooklyn, my mother’s from Texas and my dad’s from a posh suburb of Boston, but I’m married to a New Zealander?”

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American Politics

Republicans: IF YOU’RE NOT RICH YOU’RE LAZY, SO FUCK ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY WORKS FOR A LIVING! IF YOU OBJECT YOU’RE A GODDAMN COMMIE. I BOOTSTRAPPED MYSELF INTO BEING BORN WITH A FAMILY FORTUNE!
Democrats: Hey now, I’m all for us keeping all the wealth and power for ourselves and all, but if you exploit the workers too much they’re going to rise up and kill us all, remember what happened in Russia and France awhile back?
Republicans: Can’t hear you over my guns!
Democrats: You realize that those won’t save you.
Republicans: Can’t. Hear. You. Over. My. Guns.
Republicans: *whisper* goddamn commie

sometimes i think people just want to look cool and be colorful and sometimes that’s tattoos or plastic surgery. people get inked all the time and for whatever reason, i dont have a hard time believing that such things would continue to exist without negative body imagery in a socialized context. it informs a ton of what we do now but over the years humanity has shown that it wants to put art on literally every available surface and regardless of current cultural climate bodies remain a surface

Yes but I had to justify that joke somehow

Beauty Standards

I feel like what people do to meet beauty standards is relevant most of all in how it indicates the internal damage they do, after all how much pain must that standard have caused to make a woman coat herself in carcinogenic chemicals, or subject herself to surgical intervention. I mean like, I’m incredibly impulsive, have no self preservation instinct, am a masochist and will do nearly anything people tell me is bad for me that seems like it might be fun or get me some kind of attention, including communism and a lot of unprotected sex, so my getting cosmetic surgery is just a function of my essentially unbearable innate personality, but for people who never ate half a cup of dirt or did a week of preparation to picked to get topless on stage with a mid-level famous rock band in the hopes of getting someone to pay attention to them, what must it indicate?

I have a perfume question, if you’re up for one. I’m considering starting to wear perfume so I was just smelling a few imitation perfumes at Walgreens. There was one I disliked that imitated Dolce & Gabbana’s “Light Blue.” There was one I liked, an imitation of Dior’s J’adore. Is there anyway you could give me recommendations from that about what types of perfumes I might like?

Yes!  D&G’s light blue is a very light clean soapy un-perfume perfume, it’s almost detergent like.

Dior’s J’Adore is a very lush sweet fruity white floral, heavy on jasmine (which is also used heavily in Thierry Mugler’s Alien and Paco Rabanne’s Lady Million to name two popular ones)